12 Weeks: It is what God gave you time for.
I kind of feel like I was just announcing the pregnancy of Baby Eva but here we are again! I am pregnant! We found out on January 9th. That weekend I was a HOT MESS. Seriously. I cried so much. My emotions were just crazy (more than normal, even more than pregnancy normal) because I wasn’t too sure about how I felt about this whole thing. Since having Eva, I really couldn’t see myself having another kid. I mean, I LOVE Eva! But that was the thing… I love her SO much I just couldn’t imagine ever having enough love for another child. And I love our life so much, especially recently, I know how to be a mom now! I know how to have a child in NYC. I have a child that sleeps for 12-14 hours through the night. Being a mom right now is pretty easy and enjoyable! I know this life and I didn’t want to rock it. So, we kept prolonging the inevitable.
There were a million things we kept using as excuses as why it wasn’t the right time, in addition to those I just mentioned. Work, housing, money, blah blah blah. But ultimately we knew we needed to grow our family and it came down to this quote by Rachel Jankovic, later quoted by Neil L. Anderson that I have shared before:
Motherhood is not a hobby, it is a calling. You do not collect children because you find them cuter than stamps. It is not something to do if you can squeeze the time in. It is what God gave you time for.
I’ve had to remind myself of that quote a bit this pregnancy, especially in the beginning. This is the right thing to do. This is what life is all about. Eva has changed our lives completely and made us happier than we ever knew possible, so I can’t imagine how it’ll be with another little one! It will be different, and sometimes hard. But it will be great and rewarding! And as far as having enough love for the second child, I’ve heard from everyone that your love grows, not divides. I am still nervous about how it’ll all work here in the city, but we will figure it out. Can’t wait!
(Unflattering but perfect photo taken as soon as that sneaky second line showed up on the pregnancy test.)