Or Santa will bring you…

So, I debated on whether or not to write this story down. But after going back and forth a couple of times… I’m going for it. Judge me. Laugh at me. Tell me I’m a bad parent. Whatevs. If you’re a mom, you know sometimes you just accidentally say stuff, especially if you’re heated or are desperately trying to make your child do something/stop bad behavior. This story reminds me of the time I accidentally told Eva there was a fish in the humidifier.

Okay, Eva was doing something bad, I don’t remember what and it was around the beginning of December. I decided it was time to bring out the big guns. Santa threats. The convo went something like this:

“Eva, Santa is watching you!”

“And he’ll bring me lots of toys?!”

“Well, if you’re good, yes. But if you don’t stop doing [what you’re doing] then he’s going to bring you…”

Then I stopped. A lump of coal? She has no idea what coal is! My brilliant mind started listing things in the same category as coal. Dirt! Yes… DIRT!

“…DIRT!”

“Santa will bring me dirt???”

“Yes…”

Oh, I couldn’t stop there. No, I’m not a normal parent. T.J. was just looking at me so confused like, “What the heck are you telling her?” Okay, more brainstorming. Dirrrttt, what else is terrible and gross? GOT IT!

“AND snakes! Santa will bring you snakes and dirt if are bad, so you BETTER BE GOOD!”

From then on, whenever I told her that Santa was watching she’d finish it off and would say while shaking her head, “Or he’ll bring me snakes and dirt!”

There you have it. Parenting during the Holidays 101. Nailed it.