Strong Enough

I have this thing where I don’t like to cry in front of Eva when she’s happy and content. When she’s crying… that’s a whole other story.

She just woke up from a nap and is just being the cutest thing in the world–sipping on her bottle and batting those dark, long eyelashes at me. With a smile, the milk runs down the corners of her mouth because it’s hard to swallow and smile, I guess.

Anyway, every once in a while, I get overwhelmed. I get sad. Really sad. That just happened a minute ago. It hit me again that T.J. is not here with us and that we still have three months left without him. In those hard moments of reality, I have to turn away from Eva. I don’t want her to see her mom sad. I always want her to see me as a strong woman, someone who immediately turns to the Lord in those times of weakness.

So, I let myself have a couple tears, but then I say a prayer that I’ll be strong for my little girl.

And I smile right back.