Our Beatboxing Car

So T.J. and I have a car, well a piece of metal that makes a lot of strange sounds and sometimes manages to get over 55 mph.  It’s a little green escort from the 90s that keeps fighting for life.  We honestly don’t know how it keeps going.  Sometimes when we go up a big hill, I don’t think it’s going to make it, so I pat the dashboard and encourage him (his name is D.J. Zoomba) with words like, “Come on D.J. you can make it… you’re almost there!!”

We have had a lot of fun times with D.J. Zoomba.  For example, the first time I ever drove him by myself, he played a little joke on me.  I was driving up a big hill and all of a sudden, the keys fell out of the ignition.  Like they literally fell out.  Onto the ground.  By themselves.  I obviously started crying, having no idea what to do.  The car kept driving, which was kind of scary.  I pulled over and put on my emergency signals… oh wait, the car doesn’t have any of those, so I just pulled over.  I realized the only way to get car to turn off was with the keys, so I put them back in and everything was fine.  After a few moments of tears, I started laughing at the crazy event.

D.J. Zoomba also likes to beatbox.  I think it’s his way of making up for blowing the radio and ipod fuse, leaving us in silence when we drive.  It clicks, buzzes, squeals, ticks, and vibrates.  Sometimes we even try to sing along.

He also thinks it’s funny to not tell us how fast we are going once we get past 50 mph.  So if an officer pulled us over and said, “Do you know how fast you were going?” I would have to give him an estimation of anywhere between 50 and 80 mph.  The speedometer goes back and forth, and where it stops, nobody knows.

Finally, one of my favorite things about D.J. Zoomba is that he is always so thirsty.  He mysteriously goes through oil every other week, so a few times a month we have to fill up the oil tank (I don’t exactly know where the oil goes).

Well T.J. and I keep battling about buying a new (to us) car.  But neither of us fight for the same side continually.  Sometimes D.J. Zoomba seems like he’s doing well and will live a few months longer so I tell T.J. that we should hold off on buying a new car.  Other times I’m ready to trade him in for next to nothing.

But what put me over the edge and made me 100% want to buy a new car is that I got a bad sunburn driving back from SLC yesterday.  We have to have the windows down because the air doesn’t work, and the hot sun just toasted my thighs.  So that was it.  Sorry, D.J. but you’re just not makin’ the cut.

T.J.’s family and I convinced him that we need to start seriously shopping for a new car!  We’re going this week, so let me hear your suggestions and recommendations!

Farewell, D.J. Zoomba.  We will miss you, but if you’re lucky, no one will take you as a trade and we will keep you forever!

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