Imagery

It’s time for a moment of truth. A post about my feeeeeelings. A few words about self-esteem. My self-esteem.

Sometimes, okay… more often than not I have cruddy self-esteem. I have no idea why this is a problem now. I never have had self image problems. I mean what woman doesn’t always wish she was 15 pounds lighter, but other than that, I’ve been very content my whole life. But this year, I’ve noticed I get down on myself a lot. Half of it is because I gained back all the weight I loss for the wedding. Part of it is because… uhh…. I don’t know actually. I just have a hard time seeing the best in myself when I look in the mirror or think about who I am.

It sounds crazy now when I write it down. I know I am extremely blessed and live a wonderful life. It’s not that. But I literally have to say out loud when I look in the mirror, “You look alright,” or, “You can do this today!” just to boost myself up.

Is this getting too personal? Probs. Will my mom call me today and ask me if I’m depressed and I’m eating healthy? No doubt about it.

Anyway, this morning when our alarm went off, T.J. rolled over and told me he loved me. Then while driving to work and when seeing that I was kind of down on myself again, T.J. started singing a song (he loves making up songs, which shows me I really was supposed to marry him because my family sings all the time too). It went a little like this:

“I love meeeee, I’m happy as can be!”

He looked at me with his eyes wide open and eyebrows high, expecting me to sing along in a little round.

T really encourages me and helps me get out my ruts. When I look in the mirror and say, “This is as good as it’s going to get” (Thanks, Princess Diaries), he interrupts and tells me I look great. He helps me realize I am a good person. He reminds me that we all feel this way at one time or another and that we shouldn’t be too hard on ourselves. T.J. is a true optimist. That is one of the reasons I fell for him. He always is positive and looking for the best.

Well, that’s really all I’ve got to say. But actually writing this post has helped me, it was almost therapeutic.

The point is, sometimes I get down on myself. T.J. really helps to lift me up.

What would I do without him?