{Guest Post} New Realm of Emotions

I’m 28 years old (well, almost 29).  It’s hard for me to imagine my life before kids.  What did I do all day?  What did I worry about?  My life today completely revolves around my children–they’re constantly on my mind.  Each of their births were so different and so unique, I feel like I have to share them all….

Our eldest son, Caleb, was a fairly “normal” delivery.  My water broke in the middle of the night (my husband and I were laughing so hard when it happened).  He was exactly 3 weeks early.  We made our way to the hospital and got checked in.  I opted for an epidural when the contractions got too intense and Caleb was born 7 or so hours later.  He was the cutest little thing.  He had this way of pursing his lips so his dimples popped.  I had no idea how to take care of a baby–so luckily I had lots of help from family for the first few weeks.  Unfortunately for me, Caleb was a fussy baby.  I spent hours and hours rocking him in the glider every day.  He loved to be held, and fortunately, I had lots of time to hold him!

Onto baby number two, Lorelei.  Her birth story is one that will never be forgotten.  She arrived just over 2 weeks early.  I awoke in the night to some fairly strong contractions.  Since my last delivery began with my water breaking, I was worried I wouldn’t be able to tell if I was in labor or not.  I decided to take a nice warm bath and time the contractions.  After a little while, the contractions were getting more intense–I knew this was it.  I woke Josh up to tell him we needed to go to the hospital. We had a friend who was “on call” to come over to watch Caleb.  Josh called her and took the dog out to do his business.  As I was trying to get dressed, the contractions were getting incredibly intense.  My water broke and then the contractions were SO intense I thought I was going to pass out.  I hobbled around the house, yelling for Josh (I didn’t know he was outside).  When he came in I told him the baby was coming right then.  He asked me if I wanted to get in the car and we could leave for the hospital or if he should call 911.  I told him the latter.  The next few minutes were a blur of events.  Josh was put on hold to get the “delivery expert” on the line, but by the time they picked up, Josh had delivered Lorelei on our family room floor (thank goodness it was all hardwood flooring!)  She cried for a split second and we wrapped her in a clean towel.  There was something so magical about the next few minutes–just the three of us huddled together on the living room floor–so peaceful and calm.  The police arrived shortly after, followed by the ambulance.  Lorelei and I took a ride to the hospital, I got to hold her the entire time.  Once at the hospital, we both got cleaned up.  The nurse pointed out the she too had dimples.  So cute.  She was a much easier baby than Caleb.  Plus I felt so much more confident and competent this time around since I knew what to do and what to expect.

Lastly, baby number three.  I was terrified of having another baby at home, or in the car, at the grocery store etc.  About a month before my due date, I put a towel on my seat in the car–“just in case!”  Towards the end of my pregnancy, it was discovered that this little guy was sitting breach.  That terrified me more.  Not only was he breech, he was footling breach, which is when they’re feet down (this would qualify my for an automatic C-section).  We scheduled an external version (to turn him) 2 weeks before my due date.  If I went into labor before the scheduled procedure, it would be an automatic C-section.  In an effort not to go into labor early, I tried to rest and lay down as much as possible.  About 2 1/2 weeks before my due date I was lying in bed one evening, eating a Dairy Queen blizzard when my water broke.  I panicked.  Thankfully Josh was home and he calmly handled the situation.  He called a neighbor to hurry over to watch the kids and we rushed to the hospital (thankfully I had my towel to sit on!).  We made it there in time.  They prepped me for the C-section.  Everything was different.  I didn’t get to hold him right away.  They whisked him away to be cleaned up, weighed and measured.  The recovery was so much harder than I was use to.  Luckily Owen was the easiest baby.  It was discovered that he too had dimples (such a fun surprise!)  At this point I felt like a pro at taking care of babies.  I could enjoy every little moment because I just wasn’t stressed.

There are a million more details I would love to include.  Details that are probably a little too personal to share on the world wide web (not to mention that this is getting wordy).  But I will say that I can see the Lord’s hand in every aspect of these events.  They are innumerable.  In retrospect I can see how everything came together–even the smallest, seemingly insignificant details were taken into account.  The third verse of the hymn, “How Firm A Foundation” continually played in my mind during the nerve-racking moments:
“Fear not I am with thee, oh be not dismayed, for I am thy Lord and will still give the aid.  I’ll strengthen thee, help thee and cause thee to stand….Upheld by my righteous, Omnipotent hand.”

Motherhood itself has opened up a whole new realm of emotions I didn’t know existed.  Although there are greater depths of frustration at times, there are also greater depths of joy.  I am so grateful Heavenly Father has entrusted me with these wonderful, amazing children to raise.  I am learning so much.