Faith over Fear

I worry a lot. It’s not just here in New Jersey, I’ve always been this way. I just worry and think about all the things that could happen. I’m guessing a lot of the worrying comes from TV shows. SVU is one of my favorite shows, so that doesn’t help the situation for obvious reasons. And then just the world we live in… crazy things happen all the time, and they’re happening more and more frequently. Rapes, murders, robberies, shootings.

For instance, I’ll be walking by myself at night and pass a man wearing a hood. Nevermind the fact that it’s 10 degrees outside and he’s probably just trying to keep warm, no… in my mind, I think he’s wearing the hood so he can come mug me and I won’t see his face. And then he’s going to rape me too, because that’s what hooded figures do.

Well, turns out , I’m a crazy person. I should probably be more afraid of my imagination than the man wearing a hood in the winter.

My worrying at one point got WAY out of control. I used to think T.J. was going to get in a car accident all the time. Once I was for SURE my imagination was a prompting so I gave him extra kisses as he left. At that point, when T.J. arrived back home without getting in an accident, I really knew I needed to get help. I remember hearing a talk by President Monson saying,

Faith and doubt cannot exist in the same mind at the same time.

It’s a little out of context. I think he was talking about having faith in the gospel. But his words are applicable to this situation as well. And I think I need to relearn the lesson again.

When I’m constantly worrying, I’m not having faith that Heavenly Father will take care of us. Everyday I pray for our safety, yet I am doubting things will be okay. I need to cast out the doubt and have faith over fear.

But at the same time, we need to listen to the Spirit and act on our promptings because things do happen. That’s why it’s important to live the gospel so we always can recognize if our worries are real promptings or not. And of course, we need to be cautious and be aware of our surroundings. I was walking to the grocery store a couple weeks ago and I noticed this couple screaming at each other ahead of me. They were pushing each other a bit, but it wasn’t a full out fight yet. I was going to have to pass them if I were to continue on my normal route to Target, but I felt like Eva and I should go the long way around so I wouldn’t get in the middle of it. No big deal, but better to be safe, right?

Well, one more story, which is why I wrote this post in the first place. Today, Eva and I were walking around the mall, just like we do about every day. We walked into JCPenney, and all of a sudden I met eyes with a man and noticed he was with another man across the escalator gap. They were both big, middle-aged men, leaning over the railings, looking down over the first floor and something just felt off about them. They were wearing long trench coats, kind of creepy clothes to be honest. But it knew it wasn’t just their clothes that made me feel like something was off, because I see a lot of different styles and people out here in Jersey City.

Okay, so I’ve told you I worry a lot, and I’ll just think of things like oh, that guy might come after me. But I never really feel like I’m in HUGE danger. I usually now can recognize that it’s just my imagination and tell myself I’m just being crazy, chill out. But guys, when I saw those two guys, for some reason I immediately felt sick to my stomach. My pulse started going crazy fast all of a sudden. And I just felt like I needed to get out of the mall right away.

I grabbed Eva, put her in the stroller, and we bolted out of there. Who knows what would have happened. Probably nothing. But, man. Something did not feel right about being there. Who knows. But with all of the shootings (there have been two shootings at malls near us just in the past couple months), I couldn’t take a chance especially with Evabug there.

So, I guess the point to this post is that we shouldn’t let worrying take over our life. We need to have faith and trust in the Lord (and probably watch a little less SVU on TV). But we also need to live righteously so we can always have the Spirit to be with us, so if something is actually wrong, we can be aware of the situation.

I’m sure I’m not the only woman out here in the blogging world who worries… I’d love to hear some of your stories and comments about how you deal with it.

We live in perilous times; nevertheless, we can find hope and peace for ourselves and for our families. Those living in sorrow, despairing at the possibility of children being rescued from where the world has taken them, must never give up. ‘Be not afraid, only believe.’ Righteousness is more powerful than wickedness. –Pres. Packer

Remember that faith and doubt cannot exist in the same mind at the same time, for one will dispel the other. Cast out doubt. Cultivate faith. –Pres. Monson

As soon as Jesus heard the word that was spoken, he saith unto the ruler of the synagogue, Be not afraid, only believe. –Mark 5:36

Wherefore, be of good cheer, and do not fear, for I the Lord am with you, and will stand by you; and ye shall bear record of me, even Jesus Christ, that I am the Son of the living God, that I was, that I am, and that I am to come. –D&C 68:6