But what I do have are a very particular set of skills…

Growing up, there were always the kids who were really good at dancing or soccer, or who were always the heads of the class. I participated in a lot of activities, but I never was the greatest. You may even remember my golf story or my tennis team story.

But this morning, I was typing really fast… which made me think of a time in 7th grade in Computer class. We were having typing races and had to pick a team. Everyone wanted me on their team! Guys, this may sound braggy (give me a break!), but I never was picked first to play kick ball or dodgeball, so getting picked first in computer class was pretty great. Even if it was awfully nerdy.

Here are some more unusual skills that make me…me.

  1. I can give an Office quote that applies to just about any real life situation.
  2. I can pick things up with my toes.
  3. I can crack my fingers over and over again.
  4. My thumbs are double jointed.
  5. I can devour a bag of dark chocolate milano cookies without even thinking.
  6. I vacuum like a pro. TJ calls it my favorite hobby, I call it a skill.
  7. My ability to smell is very strong.
  8. My eyes have no limit of tears that they can shed. Especially in ridiculous situations such as the finale of a TV show, even comedies.
  9. I can drive the stroller through intense crowds of people.
  10. I can trick Eva into giving me kisses, which is a skill TJ is still trying to master.

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Here is a situation where all of these skills would come in handy at one time (sorry that it has to do with a dirty diaper… my mom is going to say this is inappropriate but I know Hannah will like it) :

One day, I am pushing Eva through Times Square when it is packed with people. Even with the many smells of food carts and body odor from the extreme humidity that summer brings, I smell a terrible smell coming from Eva’s diaper. Good thing I can smell things really well or else she could have been sitting in a dirty diaper for hours… I must change her diaper at once!

I find a bathroom to change Eva. The diaper is so bad that tears immediately come to my eyes, because, contrary to what people say, diapers never get any easier to change even when its from your own kid. I crack all my fingers to prepare myself for what is ahead. While I am changing Eva, I entertain her with my double jointed thumbs to get her to settle down. She thinks its so funny! Wow, I’m such a great mom! My wipes case falls on the ground, and I pick it up with my foot… how convenient that I don’t need to bend over and pick it up with my hand! At the end of the change, I’m still able to steal a couple kisses from Eva, bringing me back to my senses. The diaper is done but now I have to dispose of it and it makes me think of when Michael Scott says to Oscar on the airplane, “Oscar, really. Do you have a bag of baby poop in there, too, to share with everybody?”

On the way home, Eva and I share a bag of milanos and, because I can’t stand the site of crumbs, I vacuum the stroller seat as soon as we walk in the doors. “Not bad for one day,” I think to myself, just like Michael Scott (name the episode and you’re my best friend. “It’s really the greatest day of all time.”

Okay, that was ridiculous and that last Office quote was a stretch, but it was really fun to write. What are your random skills?

3 replies
  1. Hannah
    Hannah says:

    Hahahaha I love it and I love all of your skills! But you forgot to mention your skill of cleaning my room for me 😉

    Reply
  2. Kari
    Kari says:

    Ha! Love it! I think you get your ability to cry at any situation from your mom! MaryBeth has that skill too! It just means you’re easily touched and that is Acca-OK! (If you’ve seen Pitch Perfect there are lines that apply to every life situation in that movie too! lol-it’s my current obsession!!)

    Reply

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