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Replay

Sometimes I go through my wedding photos and think, “Can’t I just relive that day over again?!”

It was the best day. Ever. For you and for me. Okay, probably just for me. But nonetheless, I would give anything to replay that day in my life.

I remember when T.J. and I were waiting in the foyer waiting to come out of the temple after we had been sealed, the temple worker told us it was hailing. All I could do was laugh. I really couldn’t have cared less! Nothing could ruin that day or make it anything less than perfect. (It also helped that by the time we took our pictures outside, the hailing had ceased.)

Would you judge me if I dressed up in my wedding dress again and walked around temple square?

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Imagery

It’s time for a moment of truth. A post about my feeeeeelings. A few words about self-esteem. My self-esteem.

Sometimes, okay… more often than not I have cruddy self-esteem. I have no idea why this is a problem now. I never have had self image problems. I mean what woman doesn’t always wish she was 15 pounds lighter, but other than that, I’ve been very content my whole life. But this year, I’ve noticed I get down on myself a lot. Half of it is because I gained back all the weight I loss for the wedding. Part of it is because… uhh…. I don’t know actually. I just have a hard time seeing the best in myself when I look in the mirror or think about who I am.

It sounds crazy now when I write it down. I know I am extremely blessed and live a wonderful life. It’s not that. But I literally have to say out loud when I look in the mirror, “You look alright,” or, “You can do this today!” just to boost myself up.

Is this getting too personal? Probs. Will my mom call me today and ask me if I’m depressed and I’m eating healthy? No doubt about it.

Anyway, this morning when our alarm went off, T.J. rolled over and told me he loved me. Then while driving to work and when seeing that I was kind of down on myself again, T.J. started singing a song (he loves making up songs, which shows me I really was supposed to marry him because my family sings all the time too). It went a little like this:

“I love meeeee, I’m happy as can be!”

He looked at me with his eyes wide open and eyebrows high, expecting me to sing along in a little round.

T really encourages me and helps me get out my ruts. When I look in the mirror and say, “This is as good as it’s going to get” (Thanks, Princess Diaries), he interrupts and tells me I look great. He helps me realize I am a good person. He reminds me that we all feel this way at one time or another and that we shouldn’t be too hard on ourselves. T.J. is a true optimist. That is one of the reasons I fell for him. He always is positive and looking for the best.

Well, that’s really all I’ve got to say. But actually writing this post has helped me, it was almost therapeutic.

The point is, sometimes I get down on myself. T.J. really helps to lift me up.

What would I do without him?


DIY Creations

Well, folks, I made new curtains from some kitchen linens I got at Ikea. They were about one or two dollars for three of them. So I had the idea to stitch them together.

To hang them, I attached some hemp to the top. I also wrapped hemp around the curtain bar so it would match.

I found an assortment of planter pots at the thrift store for about a quarter each. I spray painted them different colors and then used chalk board paint so I could write on the pots. Turns out I’m not much of an artist and had a hard time painting, but maybe the messy work gives it a personal touch or flair? Next weekend I’m going to start planting!

I also got these jars for about a quarter each at the thrift store, which I was thrilled about. I want to decorate them somehow, but I’m not sure what I should do. Any ideas?

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DIY Weekend

It’s time to put up new curtains in our condo. Considering T.J. and I have no money and are really trying to save as much as possible, I decided I would make my own! So I’ve looked around a bunch of blogs, and of course, Martha Stewart’s site and have come up with a few ideas.

For our kitchen:

I think this is an adorable idea! This blogger took old vintage hankies/tablecloths etc. and sewed them together, hanging it with twine. Could it be any cuter? Oh, not to mention her adorable plants above and jars below.

I love these curtains. They’re formal so they’d have to go in our living room, but have an adorable flair to them because of the cute pattern.

Okay, I know this doesn’t fit with the others. But I found this cute idea and had to share. Along with the following photograph:

Don’t you love how the hooks are made out of antique silverware?? Wow, I love this!

So with my new ideas, tomorrow I’m having a DIY day. Starting at the DI for old frames, fabric, and silverware, hopefully I’ll find some good stuff!

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Too Busy for Blogging?

In answer to that question: never.

But I am pretty busy. I work every morning for about four or five hours and then head to class for the rest of the day. Yesterday I was very sick with a stomach bug so I had to miss the first day of classes which actually made me utterly depressed. But I’m back on my feet today for school and have an hour between classes to report about my life.

First of all, when people ask me what year I am or my graduation date, I can’t believe that I say, “Senior,” or, “In April.” It is crazy to me. I know I’ve posted on that before, but it still feels fake.

Next, I’m in a cooking class. Food Preparation in the Home. I just came from my first weekly lecture and my lab is Friday with my darling friend Hannah. I cannot wait. The lecture is so interesting and got me so excited for the class. I really think it will motivate me to cook and eat healthy foods, along with teaching me great new recipes and skills. Who knows, maybe I’ll want to go to culinary school??? Probs not, but maybes.

I had a media law class on Monday. It was my first and last because as soon as I got out of class I dropped it immediately even though doing that put me through an anxiety fest these past few days trying to find another class to fill the requirement for my major. I really find media law and ethics interesting, I’ve taken a class about it in the past. But this one was way over my head. The professor is a great man, but he speaks a different language than I do and taking the class would lower my GPA for sure, which I cannot afford at this point since I’m definitely going to grad school in the future.

Homework has started for both T.J. and me. T said he wasn’t going to bed until he read because he didn’t want to be a procrastinator this semester. I nagged him on to make sure he was true to his word. I’m sure he will appreciate it in the long run.

Other than that, life is good. Married life is great. It has been kind of sad though because we don’t get to see each other or eat lunch with each other every day, but we are trying to squeeze in time when we can. I drop him off, he picks me up, I make the lunch, he comes and gets it. It’s kind of precious. Something that has been nice as a married student is that I never have to worry about the boy drama at school. BYU students are trained to look at the ring finger because there are so many married or engaged people. And on another note, T.J. and I text each other throughout the day so we can keep in touch. Since we’ve gotten married, we rarely text and I kind of forget about my phone. But a little message or two from him through the day really gets me excited and happy!

That’s all for now, folks.

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Oxfords

Today T.J. recieved a pell grant that paid for his tuition. It was one of the biggest blessings I have experienced because now we have money for all of our payments and bills and Oxford loafers.

Yes, Oxford loafers! I’ve been eyeing them all summer and finally I was allowed to get them! Plus I had a coupon for 20 dollars off!

Great Grant. Great Shoes. Great Day.

Sending T.J. Off

I decided not to hike Mount Timp tonight. I’ve got too much to do this weekend and hiking in the mud throughout the night doesn’t sound too awesome. But T.J. decided to go still with the group.

Ryan just picked him up and I literally cried. What the heck is wrong with me? I initally cried because I’m worried he is going to fall off the side of the mountain and die. Then I cried because this is the first night we’ve been apart since we got married.

I just stood at the door and walked him walk away. Tears.

I need to have my head examined.

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FHE: The Blank of Hearts

Last night, we did one of the silly activities in our FHE for Newlyweds book. But however silly these exercises might be, I actually think they are really good for to do. They help build communication, make you set goals, and grow together spiritually. Plus, just getting in this habit of FHE is important.

Last night we filled in the blanks to phrases like:

“You make me happy when…” or, “You make me laugh when…”

My favorite was T.J.’s answer to “You make me proud when…”

“You make me proud when you get out of bed and aren’t ornery.”

Wedding Day Video Footage

Tonight I received the footage from our wedding day. Abby Alger did all the video that day and really did an amazing job. It was so fun to watch us come out of the temple and walk around Temple Square because that day really is a blur.

When I get the chance tomorrow, I’ll post a clip or two as a preview of the final video I’m going to put together. I can’t wait! Thanks again, Abby! You’re great!

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FHE: Scrabble Night

This week for FHE, T.J. and I got J-Dawgs to go and brought it to Kiwanis Park. This is where T.J. first told me he loved me, you probably don’t care or might want to vomit out of cheesiness, but the point is, I love this park.

After we ate, we played Scrabble. I have a Scrabble application on my phone, which I love playing, but I am terrible. And turns out, I am even worse when I play the actual board game. T.J. killed me.

But to be fair, T.J. didn’t always play by the rules. Luckily for him though, I wouldn’t pay too much attention to what he laid down, so when I realized his words were not legit, it was always too late.

For example, I saw the word: DROW. Drow…?

“What does “drow” mean, T?”

“It’s ‘word’ going up.”

Another time, T.J. said,

“So, do you know what ‘Zogre’ means?”