Wrapping Up July

Okay this first one is actually end of June, but he is just so cute with his buzz haircut, I had to include it.

I went to see Wonder Woman with these wonder women! Such a fun GNO!

Two of my friends from Jersey were in town so we got to meet up at a birthday party!

Fun days at the mall! You can’t really tell from this picture but Eva got that shirt at the mall from her grandparents and the sequins can change direction to spell out “hi” or “bye.” She is obsessed… and maybe so am I!

I cannot believe July is over. It was nonstop fun though. End of June we went to Bear Lake for five days. Two days later was 4th of July. Two days later we went to Kentucky for ten days. Five days later we went to St. George for three days. That day, my parents came to town for five days. So, yes. Kind of a crazy, but awesome July! Here’s to August! I’m ready to spend our days at the pool and splash pads and do some serious back to school shopping for my KINDERGARTENER!!!

A Saturday at BYU

My friend Hannah was in town a few weeks ago and she needed a few things from the BYU bookstore, so we all headed down there and walked around campus reminiscing. It was the first time Finn has walked around campus, and I loved thinking about him and Eva one day going to the same college their parents went to. Go cougars!

7 Years

We had our 7 year anniversary on May 22nd. We didn’t do much on that day to celebrate since we had just gone to Arizona, but we did go on a date that weekend to the Gateway for dinner. TJ sure is a catch!

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Push through the nap.

Occasionally we have days where the weather is just too perfect or we have something really fun planned smack dab in the middle of Finn’s nap time so we decide to skip it and just push through! 95% of the time it’s worth it. We don’t do it often, but on the days we do, we make memories. One Monday TJ was out of town and I took the kids to a new park and walking trail. Then I had promised to take Eva to pick out a new toy for completing her positivity/no fuss chart which led us to the mall play place. And then instead of heading home and having Finn take a late nap, I just kept driving west instead of getting on i-15 N and took the kids to the lake. The bugs were horrendous but it was sooooo gorgeous down there!

When I first had Eva and became a mom, I was incredibly strict with routines/schedules. That first summer TJ was gone and so I really stuck to it because it was the only way I had some sanity in my life. And as much as I believe structure and routines are SO good and extremely necessary for kids, I also a huge believer in getting out of your comfort zones, occasionally throwing out those routines, and just living in the moment when the moment calls! So find that balance! You won’t regret it!

Wrapping Up April

Somehow April is over and May will be over in a week! Here are the rest of the photos from the month that didn’t get their own blog post!

We watched tons of Jazz basketball games in April as they made it to the playoffs. TJ even got to attend one of the games on the sixth row!

Finn had a really bad cold early April, double ear infection in both ears! TJ’s parents watched Eva for me one whole day which was such a relief. When we picked her up, Finn did a little mowing.

We got a cilantro plant from the dollar section at Target. It grew so incredibly fast, then died. I don’t know if we overwatered it or what, but that was very short lived. I was so excited and then crushed to get rid of it.

Eva’s fancy outfit. She even is wearing pink high heels.

The last photo I have of Finn with his classic two bottom teeth smile. He got a lot of new teeth in April.

She’s always dressed up so fancy. This one is a blanket style train.

I can’t get this photo to turn right now, oh well. But they spent every sunny day outside!

A new hair style I tried out on Eva. I thought it was so cute!

Ready to watch Moana… aka “NANA”!

So Behind!

I kind of have put blogging on the back burner recently but since I use this as my journal, I really need to catch up! We had to stay at home from church today because we’re not feeling too hot and want to be 100% for Eva’s graduation tomorrow, so I thought I’d use the time to get caught up here! But we have been good! Very busy but using each warm day for fun adventures, even if that just means getting out the water table. TJ went out of town a few times in the past month, which always has its trials but I’m so glad he’s doing well at work and really enjoys what he is doing. And tomorrow is our 7 year anniversary, if you can believe it! So, life is good and I’m grateful!

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Let’s Forget the Bad

I’ve been having a hard week or two with Eva. I use my blog as my journal, and I’m hoping that one day I’ll read this and remember how this was just a bump in the road. I’m also writing this in hopes maybe someone out there has gone through the same thing with their kid and can tell me IT’S JUST A PHASE. YOU’RE DOING GREAT. LIFE WILL GET BACK TO NORMAL. SYLYB!

You know how when you have a baby and they’re teething, and all of a sudden one day they’re completely different? Finn is this way right now. Suddenly, my happy sweet boy who typically is so easy, cries all the time, and I’m like, what’s going on??? Why is he being so awful? Then I feel a new tooth in his mouth and I realize there’s a reason for the hard day. Well, it’s just like that. Except Eva isn’t teething so I have no idea what’s going on. I want to blame it on a growth spurt. Is that still a thing that affects their behavior when they’re five? I need to get my parenting books out.

Well, today was the worst day we’ve had so far with all this going on. And it definitely will go down in the top five hardest days that I have ever had as a parent. I don’t want to talk about the details, I just want to forget them and move on.

Part of me is thinking, what is going on with her? Where did my Eva go? But the other part is thinking, I literally failed as a mom today. And I know we all say that casually from time to time. But no. Today I failed.

Before church, in the middle of one of the tantrums that seemed to never end, I went to my room and fell to my knees just pleading for help. Pleading for patience. Pleading to become the mom my kids deserve. I was able to calm down and eventually get Eva to calm down so we could make it to church, but later tonight, it all happened again. But now she is in bed for the night and I feel emotionally spent. Checked out. Overwhelmed with guilt. Thinking of how I acted, how I reacted, how I wish I would have acted. 

I was watching some Mormon Messages tonight once I put the kids to sleep and I came across one about Mary, the mother of Jesus, and all that she went through. I can’t imagine the burden she must have felt as a mom. Although Jesus was perfect, I’m guessing that when he was a young child, Mary most likely had many days of feeling like the way I’m feeling right now. She probably felt even worse because she knew of His divine calling. And I guess that’s the hard part, though, we know of our children’s potential. I know my children were born in this time for a reason. They are to be strong, resilient, and righteous. And I’ve got to do all that I can while they’re growing up to lead them in the right way. Am I doing all that I can? Am I doing my best? Am I setting a good example myself? We can only take it a day at a time, right? But tomorrow I’m going to be better, because they deserve it.

Being a mom is hard. If it’s not teething, it’s tantrums. If it’s not tantrums, it’s teenagers… I’m sure this will never end as long as I’m a mother, but I just hope that I can handle it better in the future. I want to feel accomplished and strong at the end of the day. So wish me luck. And please, any tips are so appreciated!

 

Wrapping Up March

Easter hat shopping. Finn did not like the boy ones or the white one. He wanted to wear the pink hat only.

Just a little weekday getup.

Finn’s new favorite game. 

We went to our friend’s 30th Birthday party at Noah’s which was a complete blast!

Finn, Eva, and I went to see Beauty and the Beast last week. It was better than I could have imagined!

We finally renewed our Thanksgiving Point passes and have already been so many times.

Just loungin’

Farm days with cousins

More loungin’… this kid knows how to relax, apparently.

We spent one morning at the Provo Rec Center. That place is so awesome!

Miss Eva remembered how to swim, I was so proud!

Swim fun with friends!

My wedding dates!

Eva wearing her “wedding skirt” while watching the Bride and Groom dance

Finn just devouring a cupcake

2:30 Church

Yep. Church starts at 2:30 and, if you’re not familiar with the LDS faith, our church is three hours. So… you can image with kids, 2:30-5:30 is not the easiest time. I’ve been looking forward to Finn turning 18 months old for some time now because that would mean for the last two blocks of church, Finn would get to go to nursery and I would be kidless and enjoy Sunday School/Relief Society once again!

Well, the time came! Finn’s first class was last week and he did great. He cried for a minute when I dropped him off, but each time I checked in after through the window, he was playing or sitting nicely in the chair for singing time. It was adorable.

And since I’m already posting about church last week, Eva gave a little talk in Primary and it was so sweet seeing TJ help her. I’m grateful to have a husband who takes us to church each week and leads us in the gospel.

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28

Somehow I’m now 28 years old. Time just flies. If there’s one thing I’ve learned in my short 28 years, it’s that life just keeps going, no matter what. So, do what you love and make things happen. Sometimes that’s hard for me. Sometimes it’s hard to relax, get off routines, change up my schedule. But if you don’t do that, you won’t do the things you love. So… make time and make things happen. That’s kind of been my motto since last summer and it’s good to keep reminding myself of it.

Anyway, my birthday was nice! TJ surprised me with a cute (and of course, well designed) calendar with photos he had picked out for each month (some literally made me tear up remembering the memories!). Then on Saturday, we had lunch up at City Creek. We were going to shop for a while up there afterward, but Finn was quite a crankypants and needed a nap, so we went home instead. I got to go shopping at the outlets by myself with a 40% additional off at the Gap Outlet (thanks HJ), and then that night I watched the RS broadcast with my mother-in-law and sister-in-laws. It was a nice Pre-bday celebration. Oh and I should mention, my MIL took me and my SIL out for lunch and shopping the week before without our kids and it was such a great day! I’ve really been spoiled!

Then on my actual birthday, TJ brought me breakfast in bed. Because it was supposed to rain all day, I was pretty grumpy, I’m embarrassed to say. But he really tried so hard to cheer me up! I’ve also decided the next warm Saturday we have available, we are heading to the red rocks again for a birthday adventure to make up for it. Throughout the day, several people dropped off gifts, sent cards and packages, brought by treats, sent texts… honestly, so many people reached out and I am overwhelmed at how blessed I am. Thank you all for thinking of me. I’ve had a few things going on behind the scenes recently that have made this month a little harder than normal. I’m good, we’re good, don’t worry, but just know that every message/gift/treat was so appreciated! So THANK YOU!