Eva’s Dance Recital

Eva had her dance recital in June and danced her little heart out! She is obsessed with her costume and loved the song for her dance (it was from Trolls). I’m so proud of her and love watching her grow. It’s bittersweet for sure, but so exciting to see her talents blossom!

Eva’s Preschool Graduation

Eva graduated from Pre-K at the end of May. I can’t believe how quickly this year went by. We absolutely loved the preschool she was at this year. Her teacher made her feel so special and did so many creative projects every single day. Eva made great friends and is always asking if we can go visit her teacher’s house.

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Let’s Forget the Bad

I’ve been having a hard week or two with Eva. I use my blog as my journal, and I’m hoping that one day I’ll read this and remember how this was just a bump in the road. I’m also writing this in hopes maybe someone out there has gone through the same thing with their kid and can tell me IT’S JUST A PHASE. YOU’RE DOING GREAT. LIFE WILL GET BACK TO NORMAL. SYLYB!

You know how when you have a baby and they’re teething, and all of a sudden one day they’re completely different? Finn is this way right now. Suddenly, my happy sweet boy who typically is so easy, cries all the time, and I’m like, what’s going on??? Why is he being so awful? Then I feel a new tooth in his mouth and I realize there’s a reason for the hard day. Well, it’s just like that. Except Eva isn’t teething so I have no idea what’s going on. I want to blame it on a growth spurt. Is that still a thing that affects their behavior when they’re five? I need to get my parenting books out.

Well, today was the worst day we’ve had so far with all this going on. And it definitely will go down in the top five hardest days that I have ever had as a parent. I don’t want to talk about the details, I just want to forget them and move on.

Part of me is thinking, what is going on with her? Where did my Eva go? But the other part is thinking, I literally failed as a mom today. And I know we all say that casually from time to time. But no. Today I failed.

Before church, in the middle of one of the tantrums that seemed to never end, I went to my room and fell to my knees just pleading for help. Pleading for patience. Pleading to become the mom my kids deserve. I was able to calm down and eventually get Eva to calm down so we could make it to church, but later tonight, it all happened again. But now she is in bed for the night and I feel emotionally spent. Checked out. Overwhelmed with guilt. Thinking of how I acted, how I reacted, how I wish I would have acted. 

I was watching some Mormon Messages tonight once I put the kids to sleep and I came across one about Mary, the mother of Jesus, and all that she went through. I can’t imagine the burden she must have felt as a mom. Although Jesus was perfect, I’m guessing that when he was a young child, Mary most likely had many days of feeling like the way I’m feeling right now. She probably felt even worse because she knew of His divine calling. And I guess that’s the hard part, though, we know of our children’s potential. I know my children were born in this time for a reason. They are to be strong, resilient, and righteous. And I’ve got to do all that I can while they’re growing up to lead them in the right way. Am I doing all that I can? Am I doing my best? Am I setting a good example myself? We can only take it a day at a time, right? But tomorrow I’m going to be better, because they deserve it.

Being a mom is hard. If it’s not teething, it’s tantrums. If it’s not tantrums, it’s teenagers… I’m sure this will never end as long as I’m a mother, but I just hope that I can handle it better in the future. I want to feel accomplished and strong at the end of the day. So wish me luck. And please, any tips are so appreciated!

 

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Beanie Boo Birthday Party

Eva turned five today! It kind of blows my mind that I have a five year old, but I’m excited for all the adventures that lay ahead! She is so spunky, loving, and full of excitement for life. I’ll write an official post dedicated to her soon, but I wanted to share her birthday party today!

On Saturday, she had her cousins and a buddy over in the morning for a Beanie Boo adoption party! Each guest got a Beanie Boo to take home, gave their animal a name on the adoption paper, decorated their little crate, and made a collar with a bell, name tag, and leash. I saw that my friend had a tower of donuts instead of a birthday cake for her little girl and Eva loved that idea! So did I because 1. I love donuts especially the ones from Lehi Bakery and 2. that meant I didn’t need to make a cake! The sparkler candles on top made the kids laugh because they kept turning back on. We also served a few snacks that were all animal themed, like goldfish, Scooby Snack graham crackers, animal crackers, and Life of Pet fruit snacks.

The kids played “pin the creepy eyes on the Beanie Boo” which hopefully did not lead to a pink eye apocalypse (we realized at the end of the party Eva had pink eye… I’M SO SORRY EVERYONE!!!). Eva opened gifts and then we ended the party with the kids coloring Beanie Boo pages. It turned out really well, except for the horrible pink eye stuff and Finn throwing up all over me in the middle of it. Once again… SORRY if you guys get sick or get pink eye. I seriously feel so so so bad!

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Back to School for Eva

Eva started Pre-K the first week of September and is at a new school this year in the neighborhood. She (and I) absolutely love it… much more creative learning and hands-on projects, plus it’s amazing to have it so close.

Obviously I got a little sentimental the day before she started. While Finn was napping, we had some one-on-one time outside and just chatted and played with chalk. It was a simple day but so sweet. Then when TJ came home, instead of putting her to bed at 7 like usual, I took her out for a little ice-cream. Some days are hard with a four year old, but most days and most moments are the best. She is such a sweetheart and I love her so much! Can’t believe in one year she will be going to Kindergarten!

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She has changed so much in one year!