First Day of Kindergarten

I’m not sure how it happened, but I have a Kindergartener now! She was a little nervous that first week, but now she loves it! She loves riding the bus, going to gym class, doing the monkey bars, giving Ms. J hugand meeting new friends.

The first day that she brought homework home, she was so excited, she told her friends she couldn’t hang out because she had to do her homework AS SOON as she got home from school, and not a minute later. She loves learning and is my social butterfly!

Eva’s Dance Recital

Eva had her dance recital in June and danced her little heart out! She is obsessed with her costume and loved the song for her dance (it was from Trolls). I’m so proud of her and love watching her grow. It’s bittersweet for sure, but so exciting to see her talents blossom!

Eva’s Preschool Graduation

Eva graduated from Pre-K at the end of May. I can’t believe how quickly this year went by. We absolutely loved the preschool she was at this year. Her teacher made her feel so special and did so many creative projects every single day. Eva made great friends and is always asking if we can go visit her teacher’s house.

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Let’s Forget the Bad

I’ve been having a hard week or two with Eva. I use my blog as my journal, and I’m hoping that one day I’ll read this and remember how this was just a bump in the road. I’m also writing this in hopes maybe someone out there has gone through the same thing with their kid and can tell me IT’S JUST A PHASE. YOU’RE DOING GREAT. LIFE WILL GET BACK TO NORMAL. SYLYB!

You know how when you have a baby and they’re teething, and all of a sudden one day they’re completely different? Finn is this way right now. Suddenly, my happy sweet boy who typically is so easy, cries all the time, and I’m like, what’s going on??? Why is he being so awful? Then I feel a new tooth in his mouth and I realize there’s a reason for the hard day. Well, it’s just like that. Except Eva isn’t teething so I have no idea what’s going on. I want to blame it on a growth spurt. Is that still a thing that affects their behavior when they’re five? I need to get my parenting books out.

Well, today was the worst day we’ve had so far with all this going on. And it definitely will go down in the top five hardest days that I have ever had as a parent. I don’t want to talk about the details, I just want to forget them and move on.

Part of me is thinking, what is going on with her? Where did my Eva go? But the other part is thinking, I literally failed as a mom today. And I know we all say that casually from time to time. But no. Today I failed.

Before church, in the middle of one of the tantrums that seemed to never end, I went to my room and fell to my knees just pleading for help. Pleading for patience. Pleading to become the mom my kids deserve. I was able to calm down and eventually get Eva to calm down so we could make it to church, but later tonight, it all happened again. But now she is in bed for the night and I feel emotionally spent. Checked out. Overwhelmed with guilt. Thinking of how I acted, how I reacted, how I wish I would have acted. 

I was watching some Mormon Messages tonight once I put the kids to sleep and I came across one about Mary, the mother of Jesus, and all that she went through. I can’t imagine the burden she must have felt as a mom. Although Jesus was perfect, I’m guessing that when he was a young child, Mary most likely had many days of feeling like the way I’m feeling right now. She probably felt even worse because she knew of His divine calling. And I guess that’s the hard part, though, we know of our children’s potential. I know my children were born in this time for a reason. They are to be strong, resilient, and righteous. And I’ve got to do all that I can while they’re growing up to lead them in the right way. Am I doing all that I can? Am I doing my best? Am I setting a good example myself? We can only take it a day at a time, right? But tomorrow I’m going to be better, because they deserve it.

Being a mom is hard. If it’s not teething, it’s tantrums. If it’s not tantrums, it’s teenagers… I’m sure this will never end as long as I’m a mother, but I just hope that I can handle it better in the future. I want to feel accomplished and strong at the end of the day. So wish me luck. And please, any tips are so appreciated!

 

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Beanie Boo Birthday Party

Eva turned five today! It kind of blows my mind that I have a five year old, but I’m excited for all the adventures that lay ahead! She is so spunky, loving, and full of excitement for life. I’ll write an official post dedicated to her soon, but I wanted to share her birthday party today!

On Saturday, she had her cousins and a buddy over in the morning for a Beanie Boo adoption party! Each guest got a Beanie Boo to take home, gave their animal a name on the adoption paper, decorated their little crate, and made a collar with a bell, name tag, and leash. I saw that my friend had a tower of donuts instead of a birthday cake for her little girl and Eva loved that idea! So did I because 1. I love donuts especially the ones from Lehi Bakery and 2. that meant I didn’t need to make a cake! The sparkler candles on top made the kids laugh because they kept turning back on. We also served a few snacks that were all animal themed, like goldfish, Scooby Snack graham crackers, animal crackers, and Life of Pet fruit snacks.

The kids played “pin the creepy eyes on the Beanie Boo” which hopefully did not lead to a pink eye apocalypse (we realized at the end of the party Eva had pink eye… I’M SO SORRY EVERYONE!!!). Eva opened gifts and then we ended the party with the kids coloring Beanie Boo pages. It turned out really well, except for the horrible pink eye stuff and Finn throwing up all over me in the middle of it. Once again… SORRY if you guys get sick or get pink eye. I seriously feel so so so bad!

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Back to School for Eva

Eva started Pre-K the first week of September and is at a new school this year in the neighborhood. She (and I) absolutely love it… much more creative learning and hands-on projects, plus it’s amazing to have it so close.

Obviously I got a little sentimental the day before she started. While Finn was napping, we had some one-on-one time outside and just chatted and played with chalk. It was a simple day but so sweet. Then when TJ came home, instead of putting her to bed at 7 like usual, I took her out for a little ice-cream. Some days are hard with a four year old, but most days and most moments are the best. She is such a sweetheart and I love her so much! Can’t believe in one year she will be going to Kindergarten!

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She has changed so much in one year!

Eva Kay: 4 1/2 Years Old

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Since Eva starts school next week, I thought I’d write a little post about her so I remember how she was at the age. Technically, she’s a little older than 4.5… she’ll be 5 in just 3 months! I don’t know how I all of a sudden got a nearly-five-year old, but I blinked a couple times and here we are!

Four has been an interesting year. She’s becoming more like a “real big kid” and less like a little kid/toddler type of child… if that makes any sense. Like a real kid as in, she has lots of opinions, thoughts, talks none stop, is getting smarter and smarter each day, and is strong willed like her mom. In some ways, this is so great. It’s exciting to see her personality shine through and get to know the real Eva Kay. But in other ways, it creates a lot of power struggles each day. I definitely think three was an easier age than four, because she would say so much cute/hilarious/random things each day. She still says goofy things, but since she’s getting to be such a smarty-pants (I mean this in a positive sense), they’re more on purpose because she likes to be a jokester.

Eva will be in Pre-K next week at a little neighborhood preschool. I’m very excited about this change of schools from last year because they seem to do much more creative learning than her previous preschool. She met her teacher and couldn’t stop talking about how much she loved her and her new fun school “with the princess chair!”

Some of Eva’s favorite things are: her Build-a-bear Dog named Lucy, a “special” small stuffed animal that changes each day (today it was her pig, last week it was her puppy, sometimes it’s her unicorn… it rotates often), cereal, going on hikes, dancing, singing, playing pretend, running/galloping back and forth in the house playing some sort of game like mermaids or puppies, playing the Cupcake Game and Go Fish (but with Princess cards), Madeline (the show on Hulu), Palace Pets (the little mini show on Disney Jr App), making cupcakes on my phone, going to church, being silly with her brother, all things princess, doing the I Spy books, reading any book about Witches or Puppies, talking about Halloween (she’s going to be Belle).

Swimming is also another favorite of Eva’s. She has become my little fish this summer and can swim pretty well without her floaties. She loves jumping in and making big splashes. She loves playing mermaids in the water with friends but is also content with just splashing around by herself.

I can tell that Eva wants as much attention we give Finn. Sometimes it’s easy to give so much love and glory to Finn because he’s a chubby baby and everything new is so exciting, but I’m trying to remember Eva needs and wants to be loved on just as much! Sometimes she tests our patience but she honestly is the sweetest, happiest little girl. We love her so much and hope she knows how much her mom and dad love her. She’s my little Diva Eva and I never want her to grow up!

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Eva’s Dance Recital

Eva’s been in a creative dance class this year and they had their end of the year dance recital on Mother’s Day weekend. It really was fun getting her all dressed up and seeing her overcome any fear she may have had to dance on the big stage! She performed so wonderfully, remembered her dance, and even smiled! Here’s a video from the rehearsal.

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Sibling Love

Finny Babe adores his sister. When she’s in the room, he can’t keep his eyes off of her. It’s amazing how rough she can be towards him (she loves to tickle his neck but it turns into more of a pinch) and how much he can tolerate. He just keeps his big grin on his face. I love these two kids and how remarkably similar they look.

Dance Showcase

Back in December, Eva had a little dance showcase at her studio to show what she has been learning. It was so cute! She was a great little dancer and got the “Cheerful Dancer” award at the end. I’m so proud of my Eva bug!